Halloween reflections by Dada (Mike)
Whether one celebrates All Souls Day, Halloween or Reformation Day (the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg), or not, in North America the chances of having children dressed in costume gleefully knocking at your door shouting “Trick or treat!” are pretty high. Not having grown up with the tradition, it was with great glee that we embraced our first Halloween in Canada back in 2008. I’m not sure if it was the child in me taking the lead, or the child in Cameron and Erin, but we were ready. Sadly, after a week-long build up to going trick or treating, Cameron suddenly developed a golf ball-sized abscess that required immediate treatment. This resulted in an overnight stay at BC Children’s Hospital just at the appointed time for visiting the neighbours and relieving them of mountains of candy. Erin, as always, dutifully and happily followed, unperturbed.
So we bided our time for a year. Then we were back, this time with a plan. Furry Creek was dutifully warned and the children of Furry Creek gleefully invaded the community. It did not take Cameron long to realise that, once he had candy in hand, time spent at the doorway was wasted time. He dashed out ahead of the pack from door to door and came home to construct a bar graph of his loot. Erin was less mercenary. Far less. In fact, she did not want to go to the doors, cried and clung to us. Things improved marginally the next year and, slowly over time, she became fully engaged in both trick or treating and dressing up so that together they reaped over 5kg of candy!
But it was the dressing up that appealed to Erin. As in so many things, it was the creative that caught her attention and where she excelled. To her, a Halloween costume was not just for Halloween, it was for everyday use. And so it was with last year’s costume: Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. By early October, her mind was set – a focused, determined mind was a strength she inherited from her mom. One Saturday she and I headed out to find a Dorothy outfit. This proved to be surprisingly easy (it seems that lots of girls want to be Dorothy) except for the red shoes. Many shops and stops later we found the perfect pair – cherry red, high heels, and shiny. And they fitted exactly. I cannot describe the joy in Erin’s face as she found the shoes. They were perfect in every way and she immediately put them on and bounced proudly home. In her Dorothy persona she did Halloween, went to school, parties and Brownies, and played endless hours at home.
It seems that within The Wizard of Oz there are many metaphors for Erin and our life without her but three are apparent to me – colour, connections with people, and the tornado.
The movie starts in sepia tones but, after Dorothy is whisked to Munchkinland by a tornado, all becomes technicolour. We often talk about “where is Erin now?” Is her new experience complete technicolour after the drab sepia of this world? Is it a case of “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity”? For our family left behind the reverse is true. From a life of full colour and joy we find it so hard to see the joy each day, and to find the fullness of life of one year ago. We do try our best, but it remains ever-challenging.
As she journeys along the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City, Dorothy meets munchkins, a lion, scarecrow and tin man. Similarly as Erin has left us, she continues along a journey that touches others. We have been overwhelmed by the support, love and community we feel as a result. Just last weekend the Furry Creek community planted spring bulbs along the roadside to create a colourful spring garden in her memory, and they have similarly dedicated a bench at the Furry Creek beach. A week ago the West Vancouver Guides completed their restoration project in Lighthouse Park – Erin’s Grove, and they have instituted the Erin Moore Challenge badge, embodying her qualities. Then there are the playground at Pauline Johnson an Erin’s Enchanted Forest trail, all happening because of people and their connection to Erin. Just as Dorothy does with Munchkins, Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow, Erin’s spirit of kindness, compassion, and care seems to have infused far beyond those she directly met.
And what of the tornado that whisked her away so abruptly. Can you recall the images seen on TV of a town after a tornado has ripped through? Recall the damage, destruction and desolation that results. That is to our family what we are dealing with as we slowly pick through the rubble, rescue the few meaningful artefacts we can salvage, and rebuild life around a new and different meaning. At times we stagger, dazed, through the wreckage, trying to make sense of what we see and experience. Other times we fall into the arms of those who surround us, thankful for their compassion and care. How does one rebuild after such devastation? Brick by brick, piece by piece, slowly, day by day I the hopes of one day reaching a new, reconstituted, but different, whole.
However, the analogy with The Wizard of Oz ends abruptly when we click our heels three times and say "There's no place like home"; we realise that we are already home, and Erin is not here with us. As I said at her Celebration of Life, “if only it was as simple as popping the bubble in Mario World” to get her back. So we return to the life lessons that Erin taught us: be in the moment; friends, family and community matter more than anything; be a trailblazer. William Blake in his very short poem, Eternity, suggests that joy is not to be held on to, but touched gently, fleetingly, as in a light kiss.
Eternity
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sun rise.
By holding tightly to joy, it is lost, but in the letting go, joy becomes eternal. This is easier to understand than to do or live. Each day, breath by breath, I long to, and strive to, reach that seemingly unattainable eternal sunrise.
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Perhaps you would like to, once again, reach out and touch the joy that Erin brought. One year after her accident, we invite you to take a walk to Erin’s Enchanted Forest in Lions Bay at 10:30am on Saturday, December 19. We will meet at the top of Oceanview Road (outside #380). Erin’s Enchanted Forest has become a wonderland of small decorations like colourful toadstools, butterflies, painted rocks and inspirational hangings. On this anniversary walk we invite walkers to add a colourful Christmas bauble. After the walk please join us for hot soup and rolls. To help with catering, please complete this reply if you would like to join us.
So we bided our time for a year. Then we were back, this time with a plan. Furry Creek was dutifully warned and the children of Furry Creek gleefully invaded the community. It did not take Cameron long to realise that, once he had candy in hand, time spent at the doorway was wasted time. He dashed out ahead of the pack from door to door and came home to construct a bar graph of his loot. Erin was less mercenary. Far less. In fact, she did not want to go to the doors, cried and clung to us. Things improved marginally the next year and, slowly over time, she became fully engaged in both trick or treating and dressing up so that together they reaped over 5kg of candy!
But it was the dressing up that appealed to Erin. As in so many things, it was the creative that caught her attention and where she excelled. To her, a Halloween costume was not just for Halloween, it was for everyday use. And so it was with last year’s costume: Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. By early October, her mind was set – a focused, determined mind was a strength she inherited from her mom. One Saturday she and I headed out to find a Dorothy outfit. This proved to be surprisingly easy (it seems that lots of girls want to be Dorothy) except for the red shoes. Many shops and stops later we found the perfect pair – cherry red, high heels, and shiny. And they fitted exactly. I cannot describe the joy in Erin’s face as she found the shoes. They were perfect in every way and she immediately put them on and bounced proudly home. In her Dorothy persona she did Halloween, went to school, parties and Brownies, and played endless hours at home.
It seems that within The Wizard of Oz there are many metaphors for Erin and our life without her but three are apparent to me – colour, connections with people, and the tornado.
The movie starts in sepia tones but, after Dorothy is whisked to Munchkinland by a tornado, all becomes technicolour. We often talk about “where is Erin now?” Is her new experience complete technicolour after the drab sepia of this world? Is it a case of “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity”? For our family left behind the reverse is true. From a life of full colour and joy we find it so hard to see the joy each day, and to find the fullness of life of one year ago. We do try our best, but it remains ever-challenging.
As she journeys along the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City, Dorothy meets munchkins, a lion, scarecrow and tin man. Similarly as Erin has left us, she continues along a journey that touches others. We have been overwhelmed by the support, love and community we feel as a result. Just last weekend the Furry Creek community planted spring bulbs along the roadside to create a colourful spring garden in her memory, and they have similarly dedicated a bench at the Furry Creek beach. A week ago the West Vancouver Guides completed their restoration project in Lighthouse Park – Erin’s Grove, and they have instituted the Erin Moore Challenge badge, embodying her qualities. Then there are the playground at Pauline Johnson an Erin’s Enchanted Forest trail, all happening because of people and their connection to Erin. Just as Dorothy does with Munchkins, Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow, Erin’s spirit of kindness, compassion, and care seems to have infused far beyond those she directly met.
And what of the tornado that whisked her away so abruptly. Can you recall the images seen on TV of a town after a tornado has ripped through? Recall the damage, destruction and desolation that results. That is to our family what we are dealing with as we slowly pick through the rubble, rescue the few meaningful artefacts we can salvage, and rebuild life around a new and different meaning. At times we stagger, dazed, through the wreckage, trying to make sense of what we see and experience. Other times we fall into the arms of those who surround us, thankful for their compassion and care. How does one rebuild after such devastation? Brick by brick, piece by piece, slowly, day by day I the hopes of one day reaching a new, reconstituted, but different, whole.
However, the analogy with The Wizard of Oz ends abruptly when we click our heels three times and say "There's no place like home"; we realise that we are already home, and Erin is not here with us. As I said at her Celebration of Life, “if only it was as simple as popping the bubble in Mario World” to get her back. So we return to the life lessons that Erin taught us: be in the moment; friends, family and community matter more than anything; be a trailblazer. William Blake in his very short poem, Eternity, suggests that joy is not to be held on to, but touched gently, fleetingly, as in a light kiss.
Eternity
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sun rise.
By holding tightly to joy, it is lost, but in the letting go, joy becomes eternal. This is easier to understand than to do or live. Each day, breath by breath, I long to, and strive to, reach that seemingly unattainable eternal sunrise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perhaps you would like to, once again, reach out and touch the joy that Erin brought. One year after her accident, we invite you to take a walk to Erin’s Enchanted Forest in Lions Bay at 10:30am on Saturday, December 19. We will meet at the top of Oceanview Road (outside #380). Erin’s Enchanted Forest has become a wonderland of small decorations like colourful toadstools, butterflies, painted rocks and inspirational hangings. On this anniversary walk we invite walkers to add a colourful Christmas bauble. After the walk please join us for hot soup and rolls. To help with catering, please complete this reply if you would like to join us.