Celebrating the life of Erin Kate Moore (17th January 2007)
A message from Mama
Breath by breath… I am Erin’s mother
There is no manual for grief, and especially not the death of a 7-year-old child so we celebrate Erin's life in the way that we know she would want to be remembered. With joy and spunk, not of mourning of death. We share our memories of our beautiful daughter and we unashamedly look to you to provide support for us as a family in the challenging days, months and years ahead.
A friend last week beautifully summarized Erin ‘’tough as nails and sweet as candy’’. From birth our beautiful daughter was an enormously feisty child resilient in the face of odds. She timed her arrival perfectly on her birth date but came very swiftly in the hospital car park born under the sky with the wind in her face – with construction workers on the hospital roof. The ‘he’ we were expecting transpired to be a ‘she’ and throughout her life, I would say to her ‘ I am so lucky to have a girl – and I am so lucky that you are my girl. In her first year she was hospitalized 3 times for severe childhood asthma and at 14 months had her part of a failing kidney removed. Just 2 days after her major surgery she was on playing on the swings.
In Erin’s short life, she has taught us so much. Below is a postcard which have 3 bullet points of the themes that have emerged over the past couple of weeks.
Erin taught us to live in the here and now – to celebrate the moment. She would play imaginative games for hours and would sing and talk to herself; she daily rifled my clothes and could transform a tea towel into a tiara. Her favourite occupation was being at home with her own or Cameron’s company. Food was her passion and she engaged in meals with gusto. When I returned from a business trip once she sadly told me: ‘Yesterday I was caring about you. I was going to give you a chocolate but I ate it by mistake’. When guests came to dinner she’d watch out for them proclaiming ‘the customers have arrived’! Her life was richly blessed; she was loved, she was herself, and a free spirit. We regret nothing and we would do the same things all over again. So parents, Erin’s message to you is to celebrate your children, each and every second of being with them – celebrate the dirty socks lying over the house; the dresses pulled off the hangers, the pizza crusts stuffed into the car door; the chips on the paint-work because of roller-skating in the house – the laundry = especially as I saw her pyjamas, the last of her laundry, come through the washing.
She was a trailblazer – she was always comfortable with herself and her clothing style was always a wondrous daily surprise. On her pen-ultimate day she went out into the wintry day in shorts and t-shirt and her red high-heeled Dorothy shoes (mom threw in a ski jacket just for good measure). On other days it would be frilly pink dress with snow boots. She roller-skated in a ‘hello kitty’ tutu and trampolined in my black evening dress. She would have approved on my dress today – it was her favourite one of mine to wear as she pretended to be Marilyn Monroe over the air vents and notably she wore it the night before her final hike. And her hair…you might think this implement is a hairbrush but for Erin it was an instrument of medieval torture! I eventually gave up the battle and would hand her over to school with nests in her hair and oddly balanced pig-tails. One day she went in with a pony-tail sticking out from her forehead like in the Robert Munch story. Most recently she told me ‘Mom, you’re ugly, no offense’. I was taken-aback and probed to find out why. ‘Mom, your hair is too short’!
Mountains have always been a backdrop to our family’s life. Michael and my first sparkle of love for each other was under a carpet of South African stars on the Drakensberg’s escarpment. From a young age our children have shared our passion for the outdoors and hiking has always been part of our family fabric. Her more serious walking began up the Stawamish Chief at 3 ½ years ago. This summer she tackled the 32 km day walk to Panarama Ridge near Garibaldi Lake – an 8 hour wondrous girl- time together, even though after 3 kms she said she was tired. As a family we’ve explored walks and trails across Canada, in Africa, China, Mexico, Europe, Hawaii, the Pembrokeshire coastal paths in Wales, and just a few weeks ago in Hong Kong with Uncle Chris. This year we had a magical summer in eastern Canada and the Magic States where she finally saw the ‘Liberty of Statue’. Her life was richly endowed with experiences and pleasure. On the day of her death she and Cameron were as always the trailblazers in front of the group. My brother Chris, her brother Cameron and I were there with her when the boulders collapsed on top of her. It was a beautiful spot alongside the creek – with the wind in her hair and under a beautiful clear sky. It seems as though the circle is completed. As she gained consciousness for a short period of time she raised her arms. As we’ve looked through photographs of her, many of them have her with her one arm raised in triumph and exuberation. It seems as this her last gesture was that, too.
So how do we move on from here? We don’t know. Breath by breath. What we do know is that we need you – each and every one of you, whatever your reason is for being on this site – for the exceptionally difficult road ahead. We believe that the sea-to-sky communities of Furry Creek and Lion’s Bay are Vancouver’s best kept secret. The beauty, the security, the outdoors and beaches are what attracted us to provide for our children a pristine childhood. But we have gained so, so much more. Through Erin’s life and her death, we know that family, friends and community are all that matter. The support and love of the communities Furry Creek and LB have been overwhelming - holding us, uplifting us and loving us along with our family, school colleagues and friends. And there is still so much to be grateful for.
We need you in the days, months and challenging years ahead. We’ve provided you with Erin’s first email address: erinkatemoore.com to keep in contact with our family (at least she was spared that scourge!) We invite you to choose one day in the year – or years ahead – and invite you to reach out whenever you think of us. Come and visit and tramp the paths of Furry Creek. Share a meal with us. Keep connected with us as we remember and heal. We’ll talk about Erin, our lives and how we’re moving on. Together, you will help us discover that life still is good.
A message from Dada
I find it hard to see God in this situation. I find it hard to believe that there is a reason that Erin was taken from us, or that there is a purpose or greater good in her not being here now. I cannot see that, and I cannot explain why she had to go. All I know is that she is gone. It is what it is.
I do, however, believe in God. I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord… I believe in the Holy Spirit. Erin believed in God too. To her, God was everywhere and made everything and is ever present. To her, God was Emmanuelle – “God is with us”. She had an acute sense of God in her life and I believe that God knows her too. As Jesus said, He knows even the number of hairs of our head – and in Erin’s case the freckles on her nose. Erin is at peace; as we visited her body over the last week, we were struck by how peaceful and perfect she looked, as if she were simply sleeping. Her body was almost without blemish and it looked as if she would wake at any moment. We had a sense that the words of the prophet Isaiah applied to her “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I believe that God knew the number of days of her life. What I do know too, is that we were given Erin for seven years and eleven months of absolute joy.
One of the pet names I had for Erin was that she was my “bubble of joy”. She was the warmest, cuddliest, loveliest creature imaginable, and those of you who had heard her laugh will know how her infectious giggles that would turn a room to laughter. In addition she was kind, caring and compassionate. She had intuition beyond her years and often would meet a need that one of us had before we even realized that we had the need. In our family, Mario and his friends are very much part of our every day. In some of the Mario games we play, when a player dies they reappear in a bubble that floats above the other players who jump up to pop the bubble and release the player back to the game. How I wish that life was that simple! I would jump like crazy just to have her back. However, it is as though she floats above me now and all I have to do is to jump up and pop her bubble, and her joy will flood down on me.
Erin and I were as close as two souls. No father could have asked for a closer relationship with his daughter. We spent so much time together doing many different things, and looking back I have absolutely no regrets. What I would do differently knowing now that her time was limited, would be to have paused mowing the lawn to jump on the trampoline with her, or delayed making dinner for another 10 minutes to play soccer. A challenge to moms and dads, as written on the card on your chair: be in the moment, celebrate the here and now with your kids. Hold your kids a bit tighter tonight… and every night
As a family we are very close. Elizabeth and I promised Cameron and Erin that we would come and live next door to them when they have homes of their own. Wherever Erin is now, I will eventually find her and live next door. In the meantime, I know she will have found the monkey bars and will be swinging with unremitted joy, she will be swimming endlessly, giggling until everyone is laughing with her, and, for learning times will be sitting quietly, criss-cross-apple-sauce with her finger on her lip and the other hand raised, ready to participate. The video that follows captures the joy we all share as a result of Erin in our lives. As you watch, appreciate her unique spirit reflected in her interesting choice of clothes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm08fCxWrzg
Erin Kate Moore Seven Years and Eleven Months of Pure Joy
A message from Mama
Breath by breath… I am Erin’s mother
There is no manual for grief, and especially not the death of a 7-year-old child so we celebrate Erin's life in the way that we know she would want to be remembered. With joy and spunk, not of mourning of death. We share our memories of our beautiful daughter and we unashamedly look to you to provide support for us as a family in the challenging days, months and years ahead.
A friend last week beautifully summarized Erin ‘’tough as nails and sweet as candy’’. From birth our beautiful daughter was an enormously feisty child resilient in the face of odds. She timed her arrival perfectly on her birth date but came very swiftly in the hospital car park born under the sky with the wind in her face – with construction workers on the hospital roof. The ‘he’ we were expecting transpired to be a ‘she’ and throughout her life, I would say to her ‘ I am so lucky to have a girl – and I am so lucky that you are my girl. In her first year she was hospitalized 3 times for severe childhood asthma and at 14 months had her part of a failing kidney removed. Just 2 days after her major surgery she was on playing on the swings.
In Erin’s short life, she has taught us so much. Below is a postcard which have 3 bullet points of the themes that have emerged over the past couple of weeks.
Erin taught us to live in the here and now – to celebrate the moment. She would play imaginative games for hours and would sing and talk to herself; she daily rifled my clothes and could transform a tea towel into a tiara. Her favourite occupation was being at home with her own or Cameron’s company. Food was her passion and she engaged in meals with gusto. When I returned from a business trip once she sadly told me: ‘Yesterday I was caring about you. I was going to give you a chocolate but I ate it by mistake’. When guests came to dinner she’d watch out for them proclaiming ‘the customers have arrived’! Her life was richly blessed; she was loved, she was herself, and a free spirit. We regret nothing and we would do the same things all over again. So parents, Erin’s message to you is to celebrate your children, each and every second of being with them – celebrate the dirty socks lying over the house; the dresses pulled off the hangers, the pizza crusts stuffed into the car door; the chips on the paint-work because of roller-skating in the house – the laundry = especially as I saw her pyjamas, the last of her laundry, come through the washing.
She was a trailblazer – she was always comfortable with herself and her clothing style was always a wondrous daily surprise. On her pen-ultimate day she went out into the wintry day in shorts and t-shirt and her red high-heeled Dorothy shoes (mom threw in a ski jacket just for good measure). On other days it would be frilly pink dress with snow boots. She roller-skated in a ‘hello kitty’ tutu and trampolined in my black evening dress. She would have approved on my dress today – it was her favourite one of mine to wear as she pretended to be Marilyn Monroe over the air vents and notably she wore it the night before her final hike. And her hair…you might think this implement is a hairbrush but for Erin it was an instrument of medieval torture! I eventually gave up the battle and would hand her over to school with nests in her hair and oddly balanced pig-tails. One day she went in with a pony-tail sticking out from her forehead like in the Robert Munch story. Most recently she told me ‘Mom, you’re ugly, no offense’. I was taken-aback and probed to find out why. ‘Mom, your hair is too short’!
Mountains have always been a backdrop to our family’s life. Michael and my first sparkle of love for each other was under a carpet of South African stars on the Drakensberg’s escarpment. From a young age our children have shared our passion for the outdoors and hiking has always been part of our family fabric. Her more serious walking began up the Stawamish Chief at 3 ½ years ago. This summer she tackled the 32 km day walk to Panarama Ridge near Garibaldi Lake – an 8 hour wondrous girl- time together, even though after 3 kms she said she was tired. As a family we’ve explored walks and trails across Canada, in Africa, China, Mexico, Europe, Hawaii, the Pembrokeshire coastal paths in Wales, and just a few weeks ago in Hong Kong with Uncle Chris. This year we had a magical summer in eastern Canada and the Magic States where she finally saw the ‘Liberty of Statue’. Her life was richly endowed with experiences and pleasure. On the day of her death she and Cameron were as always the trailblazers in front of the group. My brother Chris, her brother Cameron and I were there with her when the boulders collapsed on top of her. It was a beautiful spot alongside the creek – with the wind in her hair and under a beautiful clear sky. It seems as though the circle is completed. As she gained consciousness for a short period of time she raised her arms. As we’ve looked through photographs of her, many of them have her with her one arm raised in triumph and exuberation. It seems as this her last gesture was that, too.
So how do we move on from here? We don’t know. Breath by breath. What we do know is that we need you – each and every one of you, whatever your reason is for being on this site – for the exceptionally difficult road ahead. We believe that the sea-to-sky communities of Furry Creek and Lion’s Bay are Vancouver’s best kept secret. The beauty, the security, the outdoors and beaches are what attracted us to provide for our children a pristine childhood. But we have gained so, so much more. Through Erin’s life and her death, we know that family, friends and community are all that matter. The support and love of the communities Furry Creek and LB have been overwhelming - holding us, uplifting us and loving us along with our family, school colleagues and friends. And there is still so much to be grateful for.
We need you in the days, months and challenging years ahead. We’ve provided you with Erin’s first email address: erinkatemoore.com to keep in contact with our family (at least she was spared that scourge!) We invite you to choose one day in the year – or years ahead – and invite you to reach out whenever you think of us. Come and visit and tramp the paths of Furry Creek. Share a meal with us. Keep connected with us as we remember and heal. We’ll talk about Erin, our lives and how we’re moving on. Together, you will help us discover that life still is good.
A message from Dada
I find it hard to see God in this situation. I find it hard to believe that there is a reason that Erin was taken from us, or that there is a purpose or greater good in her not being here now. I cannot see that, and I cannot explain why she had to go. All I know is that she is gone. It is what it is.
I do, however, believe in God. I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord… I believe in the Holy Spirit. Erin believed in God too. To her, God was everywhere and made everything and is ever present. To her, God was Emmanuelle – “God is with us”. She had an acute sense of God in her life and I believe that God knows her too. As Jesus said, He knows even the number of hairs of our head – and in Erin’s case the freckles on her nose. Erin is at peace; as we visited her body over the last week, we were struck by how peaceful and perfect she looked, as if she were simply sleeping. Her body was almost without blemish and it looked as if she would wake at any moment. We had a sense that the words of the prophet Isaiah applied to her “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I believe that God knew the number of days of her life. What I do know too, is that we were given Erin for seven years and eleven months of absolute joy.
One of the pet names I had for Erin was that she was my “bubble of joy”. She was the warmest, cuddliest, loveliest creature imaginable, and those of you who had heard her laugh will know how her infectious giggles that would turn a room to laughter. In addition she was kind, caring and compassionate. She had intuition beyond her years and often would meet a need that one of us had before we even realized that we had the need. In our family, Mario and his friends are very much part of our every day. In some of the Mario games we play, when a player dies they reappear in a bubble that floats above the other players who jump up to pop the bubble and release the player back to the game. How I wish that life was that simple! I would jump like crazy just to have her back. However, it is as though she floats above me now and all I have to do is to jump up and pop her bubble, and her joy will flood down on me.
Erin and I were as close as two souls. No father could have asked for a closer relationship with his daughter. We spent so much time together doing many different things, and looking back I have absolutely no regrets. What I would do differently knowing now that her time was limited, would be to have paused mowing the lawn to jump on the trampoline with her, or delayed making dinner for another 10 minutes to play soccer. A challenge to moms and dads, as written on the card on your chair: be in the moment, celebrate the here and now with your kids. Hold your kids a bit tighter tonight… and every night
As a family we are very close. Elizabeth and I promised Cameron and Erin that we would come and live next door to them when they have homes of their own. Wherever Erin is now, I will eventually find her and live next door. In the meantime, I know she will have found the monkey bars and will be swinging with unremitted joy, she will be swimming endlessly, giggling until everyone is laughing with her, and, for learning times will be sitting quietly, criss-cross-apple-sauce with her finger on her lip and the other hand raised, ready to participate. The video that follows captures the joy we all share as a result of Erin in our lives. As you watch, appreciate her unique spirit reflected in her interesting choice of clothes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm08fCxWrzg
Erin Kate Moore Seven Years and Eleven Months of Pure Joy