There is no explanation or justification for the loss of our daughter but we can endeavour to transform the horror of the accident in to something beautiful. A year on her spirit lives on resoundingly in awards, commemorations and in how people’s lives have altered; Erin lives on in ways we cannot fully fathom. She is remembered, too, in ways that on our passing you and I probably will not be remembered. Erin will bloom each spring in daffodil bulbs planted by the Furry Creek community; a bench in her honour is nestled along the path to Furry Creek beach marking where we played on the rocks and posed for photos on the driftwood ; a soccer award dedicated by her soccer club of which she’d been a member for just 4 months captures her new-found love of the sport; a section of a playground at Pauline Johnson School will see future children teeter from the monkey bars; a copse of trees in Lighthouse Park planted by the Brownies regenerates the ecosystem; a new Brownie badge can be acquired for kindness and resilience in the completion of monkey-bar swinging and hiking activities, and most significantly the magical and spiritual beauty of the Erin Moore Enchanted Forest commemorates where her spirit abides on the mountain where she departed.
Erin’s Enchanted Forest is a trail loop that was created in memory of Erin by a group of walkers in Lions Bay. It has since become a wonderland of small decorations including colourful toadstools, butterflies, painted rocks and inspirational hangings. The trail is laid out roughly in a figure eight adorned with decorated rocks, hangings in the trees, ornaments and mementos that remind visitors of their link with Erin and our family. These have been left by many different people and the number of items grows on each visit. There are lovely spots to stop, reflect and enjoy the peace and quiet. John Dudley who master-minded the Enchanted Forest provides its history:
‘ Less than a week after the tragic event on December 22nd., my daughter talked to me about an enchanted garden at Camp Olav on the Sunshine Coast where she gone with the Brownies in the past. She taught Erin at Brownies and thought it would be a wonderful tribute to her to construct something similar in Lions Bay. On December 29th we went to an area that I thought might be suitable and we started work clearing what has now become "Erin's Enchanted Forest". Once we had started many people joined us to create what is now a special place where you can get away from the world.
As the seasons have passed more and more little figures have appeared and they still continue to do so. It is wonderful to think of all the children and parents whose lives were touched by Erin who have hiked up the mountain to this special place to pay tribute to a very special girl. If you go there on your own and sit on one of the cedar rounds that are dotted around you, will start to get the feeling that there is an energy coming from somewhere that is impossible to describe. One morning in October I was there on my own hanging up one of the banners, when suddenly over a hundred little Siskins landed on the branches of the surrounding bushes and trees. They seemed to accept me and some were so close I could have reached out and touched them. They were clicking and chirping there for about 10 minutes before they rose in a mass and flew off into the forest.
There are quite a few little pin wheels scattered around and as I walked up the trail last week one of them started whirling round just before I reached it, although there didn't seem to be any breeze. As I walked on, two more started slowly turning. You only have to stand quietly for a few minutes before one of the resident wrens appear and there is always a squirrel foraging around. If you visit an hour before sunset at this time of year you will see some of the little figures light up briefly as the sun passes through the forest. It is as though someone is operating a giant searchlight. Unknown to us earlier in the year this has become an Enchanted Forest and the memory of the wonderful little girl who left us far too soon will live there forever’’.
On Saturday 19th we designated the morning to honour the memory of our daughter and put out an invitation to friends and those who’ve supported our family to join us hanging Christmas decorations in her Enchanted Forest. Once again the support of the Lion’s Bay community rallied and a committee was formed removing the catering and organizing responsibilities from our hands. It was an emotional morning as we were again overwhelmed with the support of friends from our local communities and Pauline Johnson and Mulgrave Schools along with many other friends and acquaintances. Over 200 people took time away from their Christmas preparations and joined the pilgrimage to sense the joyous spirit of Erin in the stunning natural environment of the Howe Sound mountains.
Throughout the year friends have sent us messages and photos of breath-taking natural images that have reminded them of Erin – sun-rises, sunsets, rivers, owls and eagles. We have a profound sense of her presence in the Sea-to-Sky beauty surrounding us. We cannot capture fully the transformational impact our child has had on others – the reach is too great - but in her memory, we share some of the comments received:
For me, when I sit in quiet moments, or one of my children asks me for something, and it can be anything, it is at these moments that I think of you. Because there was a time that I took quite a lot for granted.
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...This kind of accident always happened to people so very far away, and so far removed, so didn't register somehow. But I don't now. Because accidents do happen, and they can happen to any of us, and the worst possible outcome could be the result.
And I always walk with my son into a dark room, and I do every thing I can to attend every single event the children have. I listen to their stories, I help them with their homework I don't care how it interrupts my day or night or weekend or plans or anything. I don't get mad at them or yell at them like I used to, and I did. And I do this now, because we all lost Erin, and I know I took it all for granted before.
Erin was a special girl. All of us in your circle are changed because of the accident that took her. I am changed. Erin has caused me to realize how precious every single piece of this life together is. It is not the way it should have happened. I should have realized it before. But I must face that I truly did not, and accept it.
This will never give you comfort I know. But I need to tell you both that it is also part of your stunning little girl's legacy. And it will live on for us forever.
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Erin was a part of our Welsh family - a blood relative. Despite the fact that we probably only saw her around 4 times in our lives, she was a part of our tribe, and her stories were a part of our story. It continues to amaze me how Erin's tragic exit from this world at such a young age has impacted on our lives. We hug our children closer and appreciate the moment in which we live in a way which we did not consider before. We would like to pay tribute to this seven-year-old little girl, who is still making a lasting and incredible contribution to our family and has changed the way in which we now live.
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It has made me realise that I mustn't take spending time with my loved ones for granted but to enjoy each and every moment I have with them.
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Though it sounds wrong, your loss has helped us to realise that we need to appreciate the time we have with our loved ones here. Life is short and we don't know what will happen in the future so living each day as if it counts especially with close family and friends is somehow more important than it use to be.
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Lots of food for thought through your writing, helping me to understand enormous loss and pain so as to be more empathetic towards others in similar circumstances in future.
Your family have been in my thoughts for the past year and I look forward each month to your next post. You have written beautifully of your loss and Erin's place in your daily lives. Last year in late December and January I experienced a serious heart condition and thought about my life. Upon my recovery I thanked God for sparing me, but why not me instead of a vibrant life girl, Erin. Of course there is no answer to this question that makes any sense. May your lives continue to blessed with the many who love you.
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Your writing is a powerful connector to reason and love and spirit and care. Thank you for your unequivocal perspectives, your uncompromising sense of being prepared 'not to know', and yet your deep wisdom and bravery of exploration of that ubiquitous 'unknown'. Then too, thank you for modelling how to deal with the intransigent, the absolutely certain, and the well-meaning myopia of those who do not know what they actually say.
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Your bare expressions of your deep love and pain, has caused me to reflect upon love and its depths of joy, and its depths of sorrow...and with Erin, your depth of immense joy, pride and sorrow have lived within. The specialness of your family, each of you, echoes the specialness of Erin, the life she enjoyed and was nurtured in...and the enjoyment and nurturing that she brought to all...and most specially to her beloved family.
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Perspectives ... yes, perspective is a word we have thought a lot about this last year. Erin has been a part of that. To treasure the here and now, to bask in the simple smile of a friend, a stranger on the street, a four year old son. To step back and just take in these simple things that are beautiful brings such gratefulness. And gratefulness brings a deeper richness to life, to every moment. I know we will look back at times and know that we didn't treasure every beautiful moment, but looking at Erin's picture reminds me to do just that.
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I need to go love someone, anyone right now. And I'll start with you, Michael, Elizabeth and Cameron. Your family and your journey has been a part of us this last year, and for more to come. We are grateful for you...
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As I sit on a deck in Mexico watching the sunrise , my thoughts first turn to gratitude for the beauty of the moment and gratitude for my family's being, amongst many other little fleeting thoughts. Then I let slip in, the thoughts of agony and loss for the Moore family. I wonder, if every beautiful sunset or rise will find a way to bring them happiness or a mixed bag of emotions . I would imagine it's the latter…Erin's life, death, Elizabeth, Michael and Cameron's new journey, intersects our lives daily. Erin's beautiful photo adornes our fridge and we thank her daily for the lessons she brings to us. I thank her for the reminders, to hold on tight, enjoy the moment and take a breath. Erin's life and the Moore's have been a constant reminder of our children's morality and our own. And a reminder to cherish what we can for as long as we can because we just never know where our place in the line-up of mortality may be. Thank you, Erin, and thank you to the Moore family, for allowing us to be a small part of this journey with you. The lessons have been invaluable.
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Because I know how difficult the journey is without one that you love, my heart has been drawn to your family in your walk without Erin. You have been in my thoughts and prayers for healing and courage.
Your pain and grief has drawn me to your family and keeps me connected, through prayer and thought, and I continue to hope you find comfort and strength from The One who can supply it. …May you be blessed as you remember Erin on the anniversary of her home going, and continue bravely and with peace in your hearts as you journey on without her. Thank you for your sharing throughout this past year.
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It has affected me in a number of ways which I will try and convey as honestly as you have conveyed your feelings in your blog. Two years before Erin's accident a very close friend of mine lost her husband to cancer. He was only 51 years old. They were a couple without children by choice and really were each other's "soul mates" so the loss was devastating to my friend. Reading your blog has helped me help her with her grief, as it has given me some insights into how she might be feeling and also what types of conversations and actions might help someone who has suffered such as terrible tragedy. Coincidentally she was with me, visiting for the holidays, when I heard the news of Erin's death and was a great comfort to me.
As a teacher it is never an easy thing when a student, or former students dies. It upsets the balance of things, kind of breaks the unacknowledged deal that I will do my best to help you achieve the skills, tools and confidence you need for your future and you will in turn have a brilliant future. I often think of Erin unexpectantly, often when I see a child accomplishing something new and showing pride in themselves as Erin did. Also since last summer, when another student of mine also died suddenly, the two girls have become intertwined in my thoughts as an expression of "what could have been and what should have been". Although the two girls were very different and my memories of them are very distinct and unique to each girl, it has made me realize that anything can happen, that the apple cart can be easily upset and never be put back completely right. As a teacher I have always been a planner, an organizer, looking ahead to what had to be done for the next day. Now I feel I spend more time in the here and now and appreciate what is right in front of me.
I hope you know that Erin will never be forgotten. As we are building our new playground I think of her and I hope one day this summer to make that hike with my daughter on the Erin Kate Moore trail. I think someone who has never been in your shoes can never truly understand the emotions and grief that you are going through, but your blog has been very helpful in providing some insight into those feelings and subsequently provides very helpful advice, intended or not, for those who are trying to help a friend of family member through the grieving process. Thank you for being brave enough to write it so honestly. As we say in French, "Bon courage".
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I don't cut the grass any more. Time with my wife and children is too precious and too short. You and Erin have given me new perspectives. Thank you.
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The unexpected journey we have been on together this year has shown me that bad things happen to good people, for no reason at all. We never know where our personal journeys will take us or what turns we will have to navigate along the way. It has also shown me the tenacity and kindness of our amazing friends. This year has shown me that no matter where my journey takes me, I won't have to make it alone.
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Mike, we are inspired by the integrity, passion and commitment you continue to show all the children you teach. I was most touched and inspired by the universality and elegance of your thoughts, your pain and your message. We are so proud of our son and in greater measure, grateful for your pivotal role in helping him grow. My son is a man of few words. I doubt he has said anything to you about Erin (perhaps it would have been inappropriate), but he does think about her and care about you very much. In few words, he has told me how much he admires your strength, professionalism and continued compassion and commitment to educating. I know he kept an eye on you to make sure you were making it through the day OK. As proud immigrant Canadians, we are so grateful that you continue to appreciate this great country despite everything. And as residents of the North Shore, we are touched by the celebration of Erin’s life that flows in so many different ways.
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The connection between your family and ours started many years ago when Elizabeth was an exchange student in our home. We keep remembering how fragile life can be, no matter what age, and relationships are the most important thing we can nurture. We try to remember each day, first with each other, and then spread outward what love means to us and to serve those we love.
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Thank you for sharing your walk over the last year, which must have been supremely difficult. We did not know Erin well, but word of her and about her has come to us from all directions: most recently from the guiding community (my friend and I went to see Erin’s Grove the other week and were struck by its beauty and quietness, and I have watched the video that Mike made on planting day.
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The shock of hearing about Erin just before Christmas last year rocked me to the core. Such tragedy, so out of the blue, so random, so life-changing. It was hard to think about the enormity of it, to take it in. The unthinkable had happened to one of my close circle of friends. The timing, just before Christmas, added to the horror. It felt quite surreal seeing happy holiday snaps of friends and family celebrating on Facebook while your grief took hold.
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Words have felt, and continue to feel, so very inadequate. What is there to be said when there is a pain so crushing and relentless. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. So your blog and the sharing of your thoughts has meant a great deal to me over this year. You have both spoken about connectedness and strength and vulnerability, sadness, and profound longing for your child still to be with you. It has been heartbreaking to read yet uplifting and optimistic too. I am glad that you did not unpublish previous posts as I have gone back and reread earlier posts months later. I, like so many, have wondered how you do it. I have shared some of the thoughts with colleagues and friends - causing all of us to pause and give thanks for all that is good in our lives. Life is full of the unexpected. Unbelievably sad things can happen to anyone. One clear message that permeates your journey is that we should take time to treasure the things that matter and use our time wisely for we don't know what is round the corner. In this hectic, stressful world that is a lesson well-worth heeding whatever age we are.
I never had a chance to get to know Erin. I wish I had. I know that she would have made me smile and chuckle. I look at all the photos you've shared and I see such a joyful presence. The way you have shared your thoughts over the year has kept her real even for those of us who never knew her. The world through Erin's eyes spoke volumes of childhood innocence and playfulness.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourselves as you negotiate this most difficult of journeys. You are right when you say life will never be the same again, but somehow you are not defeated.
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Here are just a few things learned:
1. I have always believed in Family. Now I believe in Community too.
2. I have learned to stop, get off the treadmill I have been on, and enjoy my children. The little moments are now more important than anything. Life is a series of these little moments and they need to be celebrated
3. Erin will be remembered, always. For her spirit, her creativity. Her joy. She is now a cohesive force in life. It's powerful.
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And so the passage of 365 days. This evening we stood overlooking the beach with our South African family in quiet remembrance of an exquisitely beautiful life which has transformed and continues to transform our lives. Each family member wrote a message on a card that we then let off to rise in to the great African sky. Eventually they were specks in the distance each balloon one higher than the other, stepped as if they were reaching to the great beyond. It was a profound metaphor for Erin’s journey – and for ours…
Into the future.